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Writer's pictureEmilie Trepanier
Dec 30, 20174 min read

Empathy Could Save the World

I once asked my husband through tears, “Do you think I’m going to be a good mother? I feel like depression has ruined my life.” He responded with “Emilie, I love your depression. It is apart of you. It makes you more compassionate. It makes you kinder than the average person. It makes you more empathetic.”


I’m not sure I feel the same – I look at healthy friends’ seemingly fuller lives and can’t help but compare at times, jealous of their healthy mind. But my husband is right, I am very empathetic. I jokingly (not that jokingly, jokes on you because astrology is real!) say it’s because I’m a Pisces, but maybe I do have my illness to blame for the depth I feel for others.


I remember when I was little, there was a weird kid named *Allen in my fifth-grade class. You know the type – not actually that weird, but them picking their nose in public made the rest of the class not want to partner up during small class assignments. I was always nice to him, and I remember telling my mom once that while I thought he was weird, I tried to see him how his mother must see him– because I thought that mothers love unconditionally. It helped me think his quirks were funny, and I began noticing how smart he was. He was an avid reader. Allen liked to read instead of hangout with the other kids at recess, but that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve kindness. At the end of fifth grade, I found out Allen lived in an emotionally abusive household.


You never know what someone else is going through, why they prefer silence over excitement and the dream world of a book over playing tag on the playground.


This part is going to get spiritual. If you aren’t a spiritual person, you can mull over the religious pieces and take the others, it still works.


As a Christian, I look to God for justice and Christ for mercy. We are taught to be like Christ, who is the most empathetic person to ever walk the earth. We learn how Christ felt the pains of every person; past, present and future. Through feeling others’ pain, He understands us better than anyone, maybe even ourselves because along with His pain comes with unconditional love. Christ saved the world, and through Him, we are saved.


He saved the world through his example and pure actions of empathy. If Christ can save the world with empathy and we are meant to follow Him, so can we. Even if you don’t believe in Christ, His example is still a pretty stellar one.


If we are to be true followers of Christ, we must be understanding of others. Start with trying to view the person you’re struggling with from the eyes of their loving parent. We will never truly understand another person’s thoughts and feelings, because each of us are unique in every way. The way my brain functions and processes information controls the conclusions I come to. Along with my own experiences, likes and dislikes, there is no way anyone can completely see the world the way I see it.


This is why empathy is so important; especially now.


People convey compassionate messages, but anger fills their hearts. How confusing it must be to want the world to love but to fight for love with hate. Opening not only your mind, but your heart is how you will connect with someone different from you. You may not be able to fully comprehend their perspective, but your heart can say “This is still a good person. Let’s come up with a compromise.”


People are so unwilling to consider other perspectives because they are stuck on selfishness. Again with the mixed messages; you cannot expect the world to give you charity when you yourself are selfish. And being non-empathetic is selfish. Refusing to understand another person boils down to you being stuck on being right. Whether you are stuck there due to pride, stubbornness, hatred or fear; it is on you to open your heart. Your charitable actions will lead to charitable circumstances.


Political disputes are common in this heated, passionate culture. Real issues such as racism, sexism and other inequalities and prejudices exist. However, I wonder how at first responding with empathy would benefit opposing beliefs? Who am I to tell another person they are wrong, when I did not grow up in the same environment as them? Who am I to first respond with accusations of racism and hate when I do not know what they were taught, or the experiences they had?


Bringing it back to depression – I am often sad or anxious without reason. Until a few years ago, I was guilty for being so sad. I know I am a privileged girl. I have no good reason to be sad. I have an easier life than most. Often, my depression is triggered by sadness for someone else. I recently attended a funeral of someone I had never met before, but who was my husband’s best friend. I was completely embarrassed because I could not stop crying. I had never met this person and yet I had to focus to prevent audible sobs. I didn’t think it was my place to feel this heartbroken, especially in front of his loved ones who missed him dearly. I honestly feel that – among other reasons not associated with this topic – I felt such strong emotions because I was feeding off the emotions around me. I think my depression, while awful and hard and sad, opens my eyes to others pains and allows me to feel along with them.


Depression can create selfishness when you focus on how sad you are and how nobody seems to notice or care. That’s when it also gets dangerous. Channel your depression to the positive aspect of this illness; choose to empathize versus focus on yourself. You will be happier in your heart, if not your mind.


With empathy comes understanding. With understanding comes true compassion. With compassion, comes service. And with service comes love. Yes, all of these elements – empathy, understanding, compassion, service and love – could one day save the world (along with growth, knowledge and hard work, I realize).


Let’s start with empathy.



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